Are we working with the wrong person?

[starente15]

Hi everyone. My dad has a visiting nurse checking on him each week. We were just told that they will come up to August 2nd after which point we need to appeal for further visits. He's considered stable because they base it solely on vital signs. That in itself boggles my mind!

I'm wondering if we have the wrong type of person visiting. Should it be someone who can do more for him than just take his BP and temp? He continues to progress and his breathing is extremely bad. Pretty much all the people we have come in, respiratory, PT, etc. don't do much because neither of my parents ask questions and give the false impression that he's doing good. My mother will tell me that the nurse visit went well then proceed to complain to me about how bad he's breathing, how she's scared he's going to fall because he stumbles, and how his shoulders, arms and hands hurt but they don't tell the people that might be able to do something.

 

[GilWest]

Call the nursing agency and voice your concerns. I call people all the time. Do you step on toes at times? Yes, but more often than not it works. And, if possible, establish a person you ask for everytime you call. Call his family doctor and speak to his or her nurse. Get direct desk telephone numbers if you can. But do call and talk to someone.

 

[Atsugi]

Someone must call. But before you call, consider your relationship with your parents. Your dad is a grown adult in charge of his own life and your mom is his trusted copilot. They might be upset with your interference. Or not. Only you know how your family works. Good luck.

 

[starente15]

Thanks everyone. I just returned from a four day visit last Monday. I'm heading back next Tuesday for a week and a half to get hospice set up. The palliative nurse and clinic doctor have said he's ready. Neither will do anything proactively but if I initiate it will go along. I just worry that I'm always behind the ball in knowing what to do and how to get it done.

 

[tripete]

All the best Star

 

[lgelb]

Who/what sponsors this nurse? Is she home health, palliative, hospice? From an agency or hospital or...? Can you dial in for a video call to share w/ her as your parents listen what you have shared here, and see if she actually can help with these things?

 

[starente15]

She is Home Health. I do try to get them to call me from the visit whenever possible. Finally got things sorted out between the clinic, scheduling the Hospice coordinator and explaining to my mother what the next steps are. Hopefully 9 days will be enough for me to get things into place and make progress on other things. It's so challenging to do remotely.