Thread: My Mom
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Old 05-15-2004, 11:29 AM #6 (permalink)
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Default My mom

Hello all,

Thank you to all of your kind words and support. It has been 2.5 months since my mom passed away from this horrible disease and almost exactly a year since I came home from overseas to be with her. I never even thought last year at this time that I would have only 10 months to be with her. Today we are having her interim and it is going to be hard, but hopefully will give me some closure. I have had my days of feeling I am alright and then other days that I feel so sad and really wish I could go to a movie with my mom(a regular activity of ours) or just sit and talk to her. It actually still feels like it is a movie playing over over and it will be over soon. I did have a nice dream that I met up with my mom who was sipping some wine and laughing- she always liked wine and had a zest for life.
A few weeks after my mom passed away, I was offered a full time job which was good, but it is only temporary till the Fall which is too bad because I actually quite like it. I just cringe at the thought of job hunting here again and find that so many things remind me of mom. Part of me wants to go overseas again, but do not want to 'run away', but feel I have gone through all my options here and often feel lost as if my purpose here is gone. My dad and I are really trying to getting along which is nice, but I know that I have to move on and feel it is time to get my own place now, but feel sad to leave him alone. I have talked to my dad abot it and he looked sad, but said he was moving eventually anyways and he would not be upset if I left. It seems as if I live my whole life living in guilt and wondering if I am doing the right thing. Anyways, just needed to get some things off my chest and am praying for you all, because I know how hard it is.

Love Evi
P.S. Carol- I worked for a magazine in OZ where I wrote an article and wrote one here for a new magazine. I have thought about the journalism field, but never really thought I was good enough.
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