Uptown
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2011
- Messages
- 136
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 02/2009
- Country
- US
- State
- Texas
- City
- Plano
My wife seems so cruel to me. She always does what I call a drive by. She asks a question as she is walking by and keeps walking and as I answer she just yells from the other room mumble mumble mumble. It feels so mean. If I even ask for anything I get the same response. I asked 1 thing in a week. Can you please help me cut my big toenails? Mumble, mumble, mumble. It feels like a kick in the gut. We have an adjustable queen tempurpedic but she sleeps won it flat because it is not comfortable for her. I have been on the couch for 3 years. If I say anything she says well turn me in for abuse. What is wrong with her or is it me? No intimacy whatsoever for about 4 years and if I dare ask she says I have been a patient too long for her to see me this way. I wish I really wish I had a little more help and a dash of kindness. She spent 5-10 minutes talking to me yesterday because she works every day and her mom is in the hospital because of chemo so she spends lunch, dinner and every evening there since she works there. When her mom is here I have been her caregiver 10-14 hrs a day 7 days a week since October. What is wrong with this picture? I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, walk the dog...everything. I am glad I can but I feel like if you weren't here I could find someone to rent a room that would help out a little. Am I messed up or does this seem strange?
Help me understand this. It feels so lonely. She even covers her face with this gut wrenching contorted expression of disgust because I have to spit goo out of my throat every couple of minutes. I use a stainless steel small Eco canteen with a paper towel and lemon in it most of the time but I have to even spit this thick goo out as I eat. I use an emesis basin from the hospital sometimes when it is real bad but clean it out often. I wish I dint have to but it has been for many years because the constrictor muscles atrophied from radiation many years ago. She was the most compassionate kindest person I ever knew but has become a stranger only to me. She invokes that patient thing if I ask why she treats me like this. She spends all day around patients because she works in radiation oncology. That seems ok and she is kinder to strangers than me even though she works in admin. She is kind to her mother who acts like a real patient every day. What have I done to deserve this?
Sorry for the rant but I woke up with my butt bones sore and just think abut her telling her sister and me the other day that she is going together a reclining sofa so her mother and I can sit out here easier. Huh? Wasn't I asking for a recliner the past 2 years? Excuse me while I pull the knife out of my heart.
<sigh>
Help me understand this. It feels so lonely. She even covers her face with this gut wrenching contorted expression of disgust because I have to spit goo out of my throat every couple of minutes. I use a stainless steel small Eco canteen with a paper towel and lemon in it most of the time but I have to even spit this thick goo out as I eat. I use an emesis basin from the hospital sometimes when it is real bad but clean it out often. I wish I dint have to but it has been for many years because the constrictor muscles atrophied from radiation many years ago. She was the most compassionate kindest person I ever knew but has become a stranger only to me. She invokes that patient thing if I ask why she treats me like this. She spends all day around patients because she works in radiation oncology. That seems ok and she is kinder to strangers than me even though she works in admin. She is kind to her mother who acts like a real patient every day. What have I done to deserve this?
Sorry for the rant but I woke up with my butt bones sore and just think abut her telling her sister and me the other day that she is going together a reclining sofa so her mother and I can sit out here easier. Huh? Wasn't I asking for a recliner the past 2 years? Excuse me while I pull the knife out of my heart.
<sigh>