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Old 02-02-2005, 09:18 PM #31 (permalink)
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Timshelper Timshelper is offline
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Timshelper Timshelper is offline
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Join Date: 2003
Posts: 157
Timshelper is an unknown quantity at this point
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Dear holly,
i'm sorry to hear you are so upset tonight.als has one thing common for everybody its very good at making people get upset and thats because we never ever get straight forward answers or the terminology is like gobbledy gook and the machines or the apparatuses the dr's mention are something you never thought of and sure thought you would never use. i would like to know when les was diagnosed with als. my freind tim was 38 when they finally realized what was wrong with him too and you r right at that age they are in the prime of their lives and it seems to me that it always happens to really great people, go figure.tim is 40 now and he can't use his hands and he rolls around in his chair using his feet that will soon be finished and he will be bedridden or in a chair that someone will have to push. he can still talk but is very hard to understand and of course he is always choking. he was getting dehydrated because he couldnt lift a glass of water to his mouth so they have some kind of contaption hooked up to a door that he can put his mouth around and suck on. he's is suppose to drink the whole bag but cant get through that either because the muscles in his mouth have deteriorated in his mouth so badly. this man still lives on his own can you believe it he has home care come in 3 times a day to feed him which takes about 2 &1/2 hours and wash his hair or bathe him. he is staying independant until what and this is where i dont understand this disesase and the way some people handle it. les has you he always did and he always will and it is going to be difficult but for these people on their own where do they draw the line. tim has many friends but as the disease progresses many of them drop off as flies because they say they can't bear to see him that way. waht kind of crap response is that? i have a very difficult decision to make i told him he could come live with me but he'd rather i live with him. he doesn't want to leave his house i understand this part but i am married and its been rocky but we are trying to turn it around. i love 2 men 1 is my husband and 1 is my Dearest freind who is dying. unfortunately for me my life has to go on where tim knows where his is going and 3 months ago i would of moved into his place in a flash but my i kept stalling my life till i couldn't anymore and now i have this conflict.no one else wants yo move in which means he proably will have to go into a home which will destroy him and proably put me in a guilt trip for the rest of my life but do i give up on my marriage?i have been researching and checking things out for tim since day one and he trusts me and thats why he wants me at his side. i work in the medical field and i think this makes him feel more at ease that i might make the right decisons for him. but i'm just like anyone else i hate the disease it has robbed me of a freind i cant get the answers i want and i cant find a cure i feel like i have failed him. i feel your sorrow and your pain but you know your place be at peace with this holly. les respects and loves you for more then you will ever know.
kim
als about loving someone
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