March 3, 2008

Occasionally I have a day where I wonder if I made the right choice when it came to getting a divorce. And then there are days like today when the answer is so clear, 'Yes!' that it smacks you in the face. My ex called me at school and the conversation went something like this: Ex: I talked with my lawyer and you need to draw up a will right away. When you die (our daughter) will not want to live with me and your family will fight me for custody of her. Me: Since we have 50/50 joint physical custody, I think you would automatically get the kids. Ex: No, my lawyer said that your family could still sue me for custody unless you put it in your will. Me: A will is something that I plan to do soon but not quite yet. Ex: You need to do it now. Me: Right now I am OK, my symptoms are mild, my doctor thinks my ALS is slow, so unless I get hit by a bus or the equivalent, since our daughter is 15 1/2, she very likely will be an adult by the time I die. I will get a will when I am ready. Ex: If you 'drop the ball' and don't get this done soon and something happens, it will cause me all kinds of problems and cost me a lot of money. Me: I really resent you calling me at work to talk about something so sensitive. It is NOT the same for you to make a will right now as it is for me to, since I have been diagosed with a fatal disease. Ex: I am only trying to help you. From that point he tried to make it sound like I was the insensitive one and I ended up saying goodbye and hanging up sharply. I was so mad! I know he has failed to show consideration for my feelings in the past, but I honestly cannot believe that he could be this insensitive. I talked to my friend the counselor about it this afternoon. By then I was mostly over it, but I am still miffed at him. When I dropped off the boys at his house after school, there was no mention of the conversation. Not that I was expecting an apology, but it would have been nice for him to acknowledge or validate my feelings about this. Oh, well.